Secret Place

Take me to our secret place.

Take me to where You are near.

Father, as I fall upon my face,

If You will hear me, I need You here.

No one knows I’m talking to You, Lord.

No one can hear us here.

I’m longing for a bit of Your word,

Though I’m aching to just disappear.

Sometimes it’s the silence in the room

that fills the pages of my deceit.

Though it’s the quiet of the room

that allows me to sit at Your feet.

Is it the fear of one more failure?

Is this a nightmare, or a dream?

It’s the weight I can’t bear under pressure,

A silent cry when I want to scream.

It’s the sting of the cold air

that I wear like a heavy crown.

It’s the dead man I carry

on my back around town.

It’s the end of the day,

not even the night.

It’s the moon showing up,

when the sun was supposed to rise.

It’s the oldest and saddest lyrics of a song,

sung to the quietest of all melodies.

It’s a hollow note that doesn’t belong.

His perfect peace sings and becomes my remedy.

What could I possibly even say

To you or those that wonder how I’ve been?

What would actually come of the day,

If we all called out everyone’s sin?

It’s the bluest blue, the deepest depth,

the heaviest weight I’ve ever carried.

It’s the unearthing of my ways, a sinner’s death.

It’s trying to find the hopes that I’ve buried

Quietly, I cry out.

I long for You in my heart,

I find myself reaching for You in the dark.

I know the breeze of the four winds

swiftly guards my own heart.

I find You in our secret place,

while hidden under cover.

I find You when I’m in a gaze,

or eyes shut as Your presence hovers.

Quietly, I can cry out.

Teeth clenched, fists too.

Quick to cut my eyes toward Heaven.

Quick to cut myself down too.

It’s the wounding myself with daggers

from remnants of memories past.

It’s the tears in my eyes that fall and stagger,

revealing that the disdain won’t last.

It’s a secret of places,

A sacred hidden gem.

It’s beautiful in my Lord’s presence,

In our secret place, I sit at His hem.

I find You in the window,

as my mind captures the Earth’s stills.

I’m found in Your safety, Lord,

There I’m within Your will.

When I find myself panicking,

and my fear is so alluring.

You call out my rebellion, read my verdict,

and rebuke my mourning.

In our secret place,

I find You, Father, waiting there,

Patient in Your ways, perfect in Your grace,

Sweet honey and lilac, the fragrance of this place.

I can find You when I’m in praise,

eyes shut, in our secret place.