Some Days

There are days that I’m good at letting You know how trusting in You I am.

Some days I feel You so close that my heart burns as You talk me through the night.

Some days when it’s You, Lord, who holds me, I feel at peace inside Your arms.

Some days I choose to scoff and cry, some days I’m quiet, I smile and know I tried.

There are days that I choose to loathe myself I hesitate; I try to take on my own fate.

Some days my words are vile holograms of words that never should have been.

Some days I choke myself in disbelief, on days that I choose to disbelieve.

Some days I feel like hope is lost, and I’ve been left stranded on mountaintops.

There are days I’m teetering on the edge of life, hoping not to fall to my demise.

Some days my smile hurts to make and fake, it aches throughout my entire face.

Some days I know exactly what I should say, for its God’s ministry of timing and grace.

Some days this joy is overwhelming, it’s bold, charming, and takes center stage.

There are some days when words escape me, and I pray scriptures take their place.

Some days it hurts to move my body, it hurts to breathe, it even hurts to think.

Some days I decide to embrace it, most days I’m crying, “Dear God, please erase it”.

Some days when I’m feeling sad and depraved, I pray, “Let me take a break”.

There are other days when I’m lonely and I hide it because I’m good at saving face.

Some days I’m so tired and I lack the energy to tell You any of these things.

Some days quietly, You sit with me and stay, and it’s truly wonderful on those days.

Some days I sit at Your feet, God, and praise You for Your mercy and saving grace.

There are days when I can’t stop singing, I inhale and exhale praises toward Your face.

Some days I know every word to every song; some days humming is just the same.

Some days I stand up tall, as it’s Your words that were written that let me face it all.

Some days You lay my head down softly, as I yearn for Your sweet eternal embrace.

There are days when my sanity depends on the sacred scripture of the day.

Some days I’m in Your word a lot, some days reading scripture is all I’ve got.

Some days I’m barely reading lines, I’m absent-minded and I forget what to pray.

Some days when I’m feeling angry or lonely, You comfort me, and I feel safe.

These days compose a calendar of confession and testimonial grace.

Some days tattooed in ink, some sketched in fading lead.

Some days are marked with x’s, yet all encircled in Your grace.

-AB-